Merry Christmas!

i hope that everyone's Christmas has been wonderful. i've spent most of the day being with my family. i've realized that no matter how long or hard a year it has been, whenever Christmas comes around things may become more stressful buying those few last gifts, wrapping them or decorating the house, but in the end there's something about Christmas that brings a family together. whether it be cooking in the kitchen, playing cards around the table or creating new traditions. sometimes people lose the value of what Christmas really means, that it's just one day of the year where they get to open presents. although i;m not sure why we get presents when it's Jesus's birthday, this day means so much more. i heard this song and here's the lyrics to it because i thought it was a sweet reminder of what today really means:

 What if ribbons and bows didn't mean a thing?

Would the song still survive without five golden rings?

Would you still wanna kiss without a misletoe?

What would happen if God never let it snow?

What would happen if Christmas carols told a lie?

Tell me what would you find

You'd see that today holds something special,

Something holy, not superficial,

So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives.

It's something we all try to ignore,

And put a wreath up on your door,

So here's something you should know that is for sure

Christmas must be something more.

What if angels did not pay attention to

All the things that we wished they would always do,

What if happiness came in a cardboard box?

Then I think there is something we all forgot.

What would happen if presents all went away?

Tell me what would you find

You'd see that today holds something special,

Something holy, not superficial,

So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives.

It's something we all try to ignore,

And put a wreath up on your door,

So here's something you should know that is for sure

Christmas must be something more.

We get so caught up in all of it

Business and relationships

Hundred mile an hour lives

And it's this time of year

And everybody's here

It seems the last thing on your mind

Is that the day holds something special

Something holy, not superficial

So here's to Jesus Christ who saved our lives

It's something we all try to ignore

And put a wreath up on your door

But here's something you should know that is for sure

Christmas must be something more.

life comes at you fast:

so you should get heart insurance. it's this new thing i thought of today. if i had heart insurance, when i became broken hearted, i could just be payed to not have the hurt anymore. if it was my fault, i'd have to pay, or however insurance works. i haven't fully thought this plan out, it's more of an idea in my head that makes sense in my mind. it seems like just yesterday, oh wait, it was yesterday, when this guy just texted me and pretty much broke apart anything we could have had. i mean, it's probably for the better, so i know i need to let it go. it seems around each Christmas since 8th grade, i've been hurt by some guy who doesn't even need to matter to me, but he did at the time.

singing:

i knew i could make her sing. we have such pretty voices. :)       

hmm:

i still haven't quite figured out the purpose of having blog, but i've generally been using it was an online diary that people can read. which is kinda weird now that i think about it. anyways, it doesn't matter, i doubt many people read it anyways. i just like having a way of getting my feelings and thoughts out and written down so they don't tear me up. so. i like somebody and he makes me happy. things still haven't taken off, which is good. i'm all up for going slow because there's no way i'm ready for another relationship right now (and the fact that i'm not allowed to date until my birthday.) i feel like i'm constantly going from one guy to another, but i'm really not. time passes by and i just start liking someone new and there's nothing really wrong with that. i'm not so focused on finding my soul mate or anything, i mean, i'm in high school and with the school i go to, i sure hope my mr. right doesn't go there. i think high school sweethearts are adorable and everything, but i've noticed they have the highest divorce rate too. all i really want is my mr. right now and i'm okay with that. 

taking it as it comes:

there's two weeks until Christmas break, so i'm just kinda waiting and going along taking life as it comes. i've started listening to Christmas music now, but it still feels so weird to know Christmas is so soon. i feel like time has been fast forwarded and i'm just now realizing it. the cold weather just keeps coming, it even snowed recently. i forgot how much i loved seeing it snow. it's so pretty and white. when it covers the ground, everything seems so at peace and quiet. i hate how when Christmas comes around and people say "happy holidays" instead of "merry Christmas." it's called Christmas for a reason, so people should say "merry Christmas." in school, it's always holiday break, not Christmas break. for those people who say that "merry Christmas" offends them, well "happy holidays" offends me. i don't really know what else to say about it, i just had it on my mind recently. anyways. i'm going to start trying to update more often, because i haven't really been doing that. i was listening to the radio and i heard these lyrics "life's a game, but it's not fair" and it just made me think. because life is a game, it's full of making decisions for your next move, but in the game of life, you don't always get what you deserved. "if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." i laugh at that everytime i hear it. at the moment, life doesn't suck. :)

letting go:

so it's been officially two weeks since we broke up and i'm completely back to my normal, clumsy self. speaking of which, i ran into a door a couple days ago and now have a bruise on my elbow that still hurts. anyways. i know that i've mentioned before how music helps me cope, but so do my friends. it's incredible how much having a best friend to talk to about things helps with everything. i can go on and on about a guy and she'll still listen to me because i do the same for her. i just wanted to make a list of some songs or lyrics that have helped me get over a breakup in record time because i feel like somewhere i just might be helping someone who is going through the same thing. "already gone" (kelly clarkson) i love you enough to let you go, "consider me gone" (reba mcentire) consider me a memory, consider me the past, consider me a smile in an old photograph, someone who used to make you laugh, "not meant to be" (theory of a dead man), "that's what faith can do" (kutless) i've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling, i've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new, that's what faith can do. there's others too, but i can't remember them right now. so far it's nice being single, being free. i like being able to say or think "oh! he's cute!" without feeling guilty and i haven't actually had a crush in a while either. actually, it kinda feels like being in third grade when people would say "i like you" and it's just like a constant flashback in time, but i like it. who knows how long that'll last though. haha. 

moving on:

is harder than just erasing pictures off your computer. it takes time. sometimes lots of it. other times, those people may realize that they're still supposed to be together. you really never know until you give it time. "Love must have wings to fly away from love, and to fly back again." i've realized that as much as we want to forget, we have to learn from our mistakes and grow from them. i know you can't get over someone with the flick of a light switch but you don't have to go around crying either. which doesn't mean it's not okay to cry, just not for weeks. so cry your heart out at first, accept it and understand there's no going back, reflect on the past and then let it go. i'm trying to see this as a new beginning. a clean slate to hang out with my friends again and just be myself without the worries of having a judgmental boyfriend. 

relationships:

are like roller coasters. they're thrilling and full of winding turns. one minute you'll be easing along up the mountain, then the next you're flying downhill and spinning out of control. once the newness wears off, you're just with someone. but every now and then, you get lucky and end up with someone special. someone you get along with, someone who makes you happy to the point you didn't think such a feeling existed. someone who makes you feel better when you've had a bad day. someone who's touch makes everything that went wrong seem to disappear. everyone knows two people can't always be happy all the time and sometimes people get into arguments with the people they love the most. then it feels like your whole world has shattered and the roller coaster isn't so much fun anymore. if there's anything I've realized, it's that crying yourself to sleep at night isn't going to get you anywhere. i know that i have to talk to the person and if it's meant to be, everything will be alright again. 

music:

when words aren't enough, there's music. when i can't say something, i can always find a song to say what i'm not able to. i'm what i would call a musical person, i have music playing at all times in my room, whether i'm really listening to it or not. i like the background noise, i like to know that other people are going through the same things i am, i like to know that i'm not alone. i now know how much music can impact your mood. some songs just have a happy beat that makes you want to dance when others can just put you tears. if i have a crappy day, i feel better when i put on some of my favorite songs. lyrics can be so simple, but mean so much to one person and the singer doesn't know how much they can effect someone. now that i think about it, people need music, or at least i do, but then again, i'm not one of those people who can sit down and write a song to let all my tangled feelings out. when i hear a song that relates to how i feel, it helps me cope with whatever i'm dealing with. music is my escape. what's yours?

best friend:

people are people. we hurt, we cry, we laugh, we smile, we live life. but, the thing is, no one wants to live their life alone. i rely on my best friend. she's been with me through everything. she's felt my heartbreaks, she's seen me cry and held me during my weakest points. she's not only been with me through the hard times, but the good and funny times too. we used to hang out all the time, every second we could. now, as we're getting older, that's not becoming as easy to do. today, she came home with me and we just hung out together. we didn't do much, but that doesn't matter. all that matters to me was that we were with each other again. i've missed her, being with her. i know there may be times when we don't agree on something or don't want to do the same thing, but in the end, we'll be okay, we always have been. and as we continue to go through high school together, i know we'll both be there for each other when we hit a hard time and we'll be standing right next to each other during the great times too. she's my other half, the sister i don't have, the best friend i can tell everything to, she's everything i'm not and we complete each other. no matter what happens, i'll be there for her and i know she'll be there for me because that's how it's supposed to be. 

rainy days:

most people find rainy days to be a pain or they don't like the rain, they dread the downpour of the rain drops, but i have learned to love it, even when it gives me a bad hair day. i love to watch the rain come down. i love to smell it when it's hot on the pavement. when it's a storm, the occasional lighting strike adds beauty to the scene and thunder lets me know angels are there. i grew up scared of storms until my parents told me it was just the angels playing baseball, then i began to like them. i enjoy falling asleep to the steady drip-drip-drip of the drops on my window. i would love to dance in the rain. i always have heard that, but i've never actually done it before, but i should, just go out in the middle of the road while it's storming and just be free. that's what everyone should do, just let go and be free. 

homecoming:

last night was my first high school dance, homecoming. i was so nervous and excited. before my best friend got to my house, i was in what i call "freak out mode." my hair wasn't cooperating and it was driving me nuts. then the doorbell rang and i still wasn't ready, so then i became really nervous. i left my date sitting out in the living room with my dad while my mom and best friend kayla helped me get ready. then when all the last minute things were finished, i walked out of the room into the living room and i saw him. he looked fantastic. then it was picture time, flashes were going off everywhere as him and i held hands together and time stood still. when we got to the dance, it seemed like just 10 minutes later i had to leave. like Cinderella at the ball, at the stroke of midnight, she leaves her prince, but in the end there's the happily ever after and now i've realized i am finally living my own fairtytale and i can have my own happy ending too.

love:

when i was in middle school, i would hear all the older kids whisper to each other "i love you" and i just thought to myself, oh grow up, you don't know what love is, that's ridiculous. but now, i'm one of them and i love it. i've always felt i knew what love was like in past relationships, but i was wrong. i thought it was love because it was all i knew, but this time it's different. love is when you care about someone so much, you're sad when they aren't around and you never cease to think about them. it's having your heart stop when they look at you, forgetting how to breathe when they touch you and send shivers up your spine. all those butterflies in your stomach when they say your name the intensity of a first kiss, how you never want to see that person hurt. you would do everything in your power to make them happy, whether that be a hug or letting them go but enjoying them while you have them. love have no rules and knows no limits.

choices:

are difficult to make. i'm always
concerned about how other people will think of me when i make a decision and i shouldn't be. recently i made a decision, and i'm happy with it while others may not be. so i've decided i shouldn't let it get to me.

my purpose:

is to write down little things that occur in my life. things that make me sad, make me happy, make me laugh, anything. i want to start enjoying the little things in life, i feel like i take to much for granted.

to explain the name:

i'm a very indecisive person, so thanks to the creativity of my best friend, we came up with the name "the daily name change" because i am most like going to change the name regularly. which is okay, so just bare with me on my new journey through blogging. haha :)